The Lakerhead

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Lakers Are Back to Back NBA Champions…Really?

It’s been a while, folks. How are you all doing? I’ve been good, busy, but good. Started the graduate school thing and now marketing thing for video games. Yes, that’s why you haven’t seen my Lakers articles this year. Yes, that’s why I responded to your tearful voicemails to start writing again with a text message I labeled, “Who is this and how did you get my number? Oh, and go Lakers.” That crying man never gave himself away (crying men rarely do).

Pacman Battle Royale was the Highlight of my E3 Experience

So I now find myself behind the 8-ball again, writing. Did I miss anything? Oh, what’s that you say? The Lakers just won another championship? It couldn’t possibly have been more epic than last year’s win over the Orlando Magic, could it? Excuse me? You’re telling me they beat their classically hated rival Celtics in a Game 7 at home while purple and gold confetti dropped on Bill Simmons’ laptop (who apparently thought he was covering a Celtics championship live, lawlz) and Bill Russell had to give the Finals MVP to Kobe Bryant?!

What are you going to tell me next, that Derek Fisher and Pau Gasol were crying from happiness and Ron Artest was the best player in the game?! Oh, just checked the box score: Artest with a Lebron James-esque 20 points, 5 rebounds, 5 assists-I’ve now seen it all.

I Still Want to Spend All my Free Time with Bill Russell

How is all of this possible? I believe I need to time travel with my readers to grasp all of this, what it means in the grand scheme of Einsteinian relations and our lives. So bear with me, and kindly buckle your seat belt – we’re taking the DeLorean.

July 8, 2009

The Lakers sign Ron Artest to a 5-year, $33 million dollar contract. I look back on an article I wrote suggesting the Lakers, should they sign him, should play Ron Artest at power forward and wonder what I was thinking. I’m working on a side writing project at a café when a friend of mine, who’s working on an art sketch of her own asks about it. I show her some dialogue and she literally bursts out laughing. It was a drama. At least, it was supposed to be a drama. I couldn’t feel further from H.G. Wells at that moment if I tried.

I Think I Need to Go Back and Read The Time Machine

October 7^th, 2009

The Lakers win their first preseason game against Golden State. Yes, I was covering preseason games for the 2^nd year in a row like my life depended on it, for free, for my tens, no, hundreds! (101 is in the hundreds, right?) of readers a day. So I’m watching multiple games a week and writing about them while working 60 hour weeks (back then I was testing games) and applying to grad schools. This is totally not going to work.

October 12^th, 2009

On a plane flight to San Jose, the muscular man sitting next to me introduces himself. When I tell him I’m in the game industry, he shows me game cover art of some soldier – it’s a drawn picture of his face. So the guy next to me poses for the covers of the games I sell. He also challenges me to do 500 pushups a day (I’m up to 140, I think he’ll magically appear when I get to 500). I convince myself that I didn’t meet my personal Tyler Durden, and that the man that originally cried in my voicemail was not really me.

You Are Not Your Video Game Avatar

October 25^th, 2009

I close down Lakerhead indefinitely, as time would not allow me to write any more articles. I finish my novel and decide to send it to only 4 agencies before school and work become too much. I get interest from one of the agencies before it fizzles out. I continue to sit on the manuscript, waiting for that beautiful 3 week vacation from school. The Lakers beat the Clippers two days later in the first regular season Lakers game I’ve missed in years. YEARS (there was a few that I had to record on VHS for later viewing, but I caught them all). I feel a great disturbance in my Jedi force skills.

In the Words of my Cousin and Internet Memes Everywhere, "I am 12 Years Old and What is This?"

December 28^th, 2009

The Lakers lose to Suns in Phoenix, but Kobe goes 14-26 for 33 points and 7 rebounds. Of course, I only know this because a basketball-head friend of mine tell me. It feels super-strange to miss all this basketball. I no longer run the triangle offense in my head to fall asleep at night. He mentions my lack of articles. Again. Another friend I see that night asks about the site, and where the new articles are. I’m impressed, as she’s female and not a sports fan. Perhaps I transcend this through my writing, I think. “Wow, you read my articles?” I ask. “Well, I like to look at the pictures.” At that precise moment, I realize that F. Scott Fitzgerald would have made the same decision to put the site on ice.

February 19^th, 2010

I catch Shutter Island on opening night. It makes me appreciate subtle lines in dialogue, such as “Baby, I love this because you gave it to me, but it is one expletive ugly tie.” My site is not rated R, but I’m sure you can fill in the blanks. A few days later, I’m getting a regular doctor checkup, acting more like DiCaprio in The Aviator. I could not accept a perfect blood test, I could improve, I could get better, I’ve seen Kobe do it. He once bulked up to 240 pounds of pure muscle. So my doctor gave me some advice: lay off the caffeine.

When the Going Gets Tough, the Cheapest Doctor You Can Find is Right Here

March 24^th, 2010

Caffeine lowers the chance of Parkinson’s disease and colon cancer, Doc. I’m back on the coffee. Having a little off time from work and school, I catch the Lakers beat the Spurs in San Antonio, 92-83. The Spurs’ Richard Jefferson goes 3-9 and has only 6 points. You know, the same Richard Jefferson that I thought made the Spurs the clear favorite to win it all. Is it possible he aged before our eyes at only 29 years old? Can the secret to immortality lie in reversing Richard Jefferson’s basketball drop-off? I get this lingering feeling that the Lakers are now the favorites to win the championship.

There is no Way This Guy Watches No Sports

In that moment, I see another Dos Equis commercial and realize “The Most Interesting Man in the World” that they advertise is basically Ernest Hemmingway. How can I become Ernest Hemmingway, I think? Video games as a job, grad school, strange flights, and constant time travel and immortality attempts are not enough. Something was needed. Something more…manly. Watching a sports team, I think. Perhaps covering them after their playoff run. Yes, this is it. And if they happen to win the championship? That’s just some Hollywood icing on my cake.

June 17^th, 2010

The Lakers repeat as champions. Back to back. Kobe and Fisher win their fifth title. Pau Gasol his 2^nd. Ron Artest completely earns his first. Ron Artest’s psychiatrist gets a shout out from Ron-Ron himself on national TV. I watched the Lakers survive the Oklahoma City Thunder in the first round, just managing to hold off youth and the wrath of Durantula, who I still say has a shot of becoming the greatest player in NBA history. I watched the Lakers sweep the Jazz and remind me that the NBA is all about matchups. I watched the Lakers take care of the Suns in 6, and shed a basketball tear for Steve Nash’s beautiful game.

An Emotional Moment for Derek Fisher and Coach Phil Jackson

I finally watched them defeat a tough, tough Boston Celtics team in 7 desperate games. The ultimate revenge for their 2008 Finals loss to them 2 years ago.

The Lakers won Game 7 with Kobe shooting – from the field. How is that possible? There is only one way, and that’s if both Paul Pierce and Ray Allen “play like dogs” as Greg Popovich likes to say. The Lakers found the four-leaf clover there, holding them to a combined 27% shooting. To the Celtic faithful saying “what if” to Kendrick Perkins being able to play Game 7 so the Celtics could actually get a rebound, I say this: Give us 6 games of a healthy Bynum and we’ll call it even.

Five Titles

Kobe Bryant looked exhausted in the press conference following the game, and called himself “drained”. We all go through it. Grad school and work will be here with me for a while, and I’ll always have reasons to not continue writing. But I remember something else Kobe said that night after winning the championship. “Let’s go for it again.” It’s a testament to the fact that life doesn’t stop, and that we all have to keep fighting if we want to achieve greatness (and in the Lakers’ case, continued greatness). So to my faithful readers, I give you this. In some form, in some medium, you haven’t even begun to see the last of my writing. Until then, enjoy summer in Los Angeles. The Lakers are the champions of basketball.

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Lakerhead’s Top 6 Articles For Your Enjoyment

To kick off the season, Lakerhead is putting up it’s 6 greatest posts written while covering the Lakers’ Championship Year.

Since the Lakerhead himself is pulling into the final stretch of a novel he has been writing for quite a while (no, unfortunately it’s not about Luke Walton, or basketball as a matter of fact), the updates to this site won’t be several times a week like I have done all of last year like I was running my own sports network.

When I first started Lakerhead, it was for a handful of my basketball fan friends to get a laugh and see my writing.  With link hookups from ESPN and Yahoo!, it turned into a site literally tens of thousands of people have enjoyed.  I couldn’t have drawn it out better (you know, other than challenging Kobe 1 on 1 on the site, him accepting, and me beating him with fade-away runners on every shot).

But be sure to check into the site every now and then as it shifts more into following the lifestyle of a Lakers fan.

And yes, it’s still going to be about the comedy.  You guys are the greatest.

6) I Attend Lakers Game, Said Lakers Team Loses - My freeway insanity and fun Lakers fans memories.

5) Sasha Vujacic is Slowly Taking Over the World - My investigative journalism topples the social giant that is Lakers’ guard Sasha Vujacic.

4) NBA Finals = Fun Times - My Love Letter to the Larry O’Brien Trophy is filled with funny and tragic memories.

3) Lakers’ Summer Survival Guide - A recent article on How to survive a summer without the Lakers with rules, ala Zombieland.

2) Kobe is King of New York - Kobe scores 61 points in Madison Square Garden. The only truly serious article on this list, I flex my journalism versatility.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

1) Pau Gasol’s Scream Shot, Starburst Flavor Abomination - Perhaps the article that started it all.  I find out why Pau Gasol Screams every time he shoots the ball.

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Survival Guide for Lakers Fans

I’ve always believed everyone can survive anything with lists.  After watching Zombieland, which is bar none the greatest comedy about surviving Zombies ever, it’s clear that Lakers fans need a list with them to survive summers.

Ask the Kid on the Left What it Takes to Survive: Rules

My fellow readers, I’m hoping if the steps on this list are followed, this will have been the last summer we lost so many great fans due to Lakers withdrawal.

Rule # 1) Watch Kobe Drop 81 Points

This isn’t just a video, it’s an experience.  On January 22, 2006, Kobe Bryant, a shooting guard in the modern NBA era scored 81 points by shooting over 60% from the field.

That Wilt Chamberlain 100 point game? He shot only 57.1%, the game was never televised, his team kept fouling the opponents to get the ball back so Wilt could score some more in the final minutes, and he was a center that got his points through physical domination, not superior basketball skill.

Kobe Bryant’s single game performance is so far past any NBA player ever, including Wilt, that it’s not even funny.  Twisting drives, dunks, and fade-away jumpers galore, it is the ultimate display of offensive basketball skills.

This 3 minute video can be watched every summer morning like a vitamin pill for the Lakers withdrawal the fan is about to endure.  And yes, it still gives me goosebumps watching it.

Rule # 2) Enjoy the Little Things

OK, so maybe this rule was directly taken from Zombieland.  The important thing is that it is remarkably useful to a Lakers fan trying to survive the summer.

So for all my Angelinos, here is a random list of the small things to enjoy in the city of Angels.

In-N-Out Burger - The family-owned “fast food” joint is a California staple.  Maybe even the California staple. With fries cooked in vegetable oil, burger patties that are never frozen, and that sweet, thousand-island-ish burger sauce, is there a better burger joint in town?  I don’t think so.

Give me a double double cheeseburgers with animal style fries (that’s grilled onions, cheese, and thousand island sauce on your fries for those of you keeping score at home) and a milkshake and I’ll temporarily forget about the Lakers…for five minutes.

Shopping - Hey, this is La-La land, right?  For Lakers fans, shopping takes on a whole new meaning.  It means getting the Kobe Zoom IV’s, the stylish low-top basketball shoe that barely weighs anything.

I’d say this summer’s must-have for die-hard Lakers fans had to be Kobe’s four fingered puppet shirt with a championship on each finger.

Rule # 3) Watch the Lakers Play the Final Game at Boston Garden

The year was 1995.  The Lakers were never more fun to watch.  The Magic-Kareem-Worthy showtime of the 80’s was replaced by The Lake Show, which consisted of Nick “The Quick” Van Exel, Eddie Jones, and Cedric Ceballos.  Oh, and we have Vlade Divac in his prime.  This team was no joke.

This team ran with such great ferocity, it’s like they wrote the book 7 Seconds or Less themselves.  I’m convinced a 1995 Van Exel could outplay any point guard in the history of time.  I refuse to take off these rosy colored Laker goggles.  Just look at him go in this video, he can’t be stopped in any way.

A little under five minutes into the video (4:50 mark), a Lakers fan with a purple team jacket and purple face paint comes out with a sign that says the Lakers Own the Celtics on one side and Lakers Rule the Garden on the other, and the camera zooms into a little boy from Boston who reads the sign and looks like his dreams are crushed.  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

This was the last game the Lakers played at Boston Garden before the Celtics moved to a new arena.  Needless to say, the Lakers won with a buzzer beater.  It is only fitting, and one last act of revenge against the Lakers’ all-time rivals.  As an added bonus, Lakers fans get to hear legendary announcer Chick Hearn’s voice.  You forget how amazing his play-by-play call is.  Refuse to forget.  This video will be prescribed once a week in the summer.

Rule #4) Listen to Music

If you were living large in the mid 90’s like Nick Van Exel, it seemed like you almost couldn’t go wrong with music.  Mainstream radio was playing Weezer, Garbage, and Notorious B.I.G. instead of Rise Against, Lady Gaga, and Panic at the Disco.

But thankfully there is a huge advantage today - the internet no longer means a 28k modem and waiting 2 minutes for a picture to load.  So get an account from Last.fm, Pandora, or any other free music site and discover where the good music has gone, off the airwaves and onto the web.

For those of us that survived so far, the first televised preseason game featuring the Lakers against the Golden State Warriors is tonight.  Do not be fooled, however.  The starers you want to see will play sparse minutes.  You might leave feeling let down.  Keep following the rules, and stay strong until the regular season begins.  Good luck out there..

Update: Lakers Win First Preseason Game - What happens when you play a team with no defense like the  Golden State Warriors? (stay classy, Don Nelson).  You hit your offensive flow.  The Lakers beat the Warriors 118-101. Bynum was a dunk machine with no Warrior big to check him, and had 24 points.  If he’s back in last season’s form before he got injured and he somehow avoids injury this year, the Lakers have a great chance to win over 70 games.

Artest nearly got a triple-double in his Lakers debut with 12 points, 9 rebounds, and 7 assists.  He passed when he should have, jumpers, and played his brand of defense.  And they said it wouldn’t work, it worked…er…for one preseason game.  Keep it up, Ron!

Kobe still looked like Kobe, scoring 22 points on a sizzling 8-17 shooting.  Pau Gasol got an efficient 11 points and 8 rebounds in only 18 minutes of play.  You couldn’t dream of a better start to the preseason than this.

The Lakers play the Warriors again Friday night at 7:00PM.  Forget Friday nights.  This is blood, sweat, and tears (OK, maybe not blood).  This is Lakers basketball.

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Basketball Video Game Goodness

When I was a kid, Double Dribble for the Nintendo Entertainment System was the best basketball game known to man.  Featuring 4 teams that sounded suspiciously close to their NBA counterparts (Boston Frogs, Chicago Ox, New York Eagles, and Los Angeles Breakers…are you kidding me?), the game was all about finding secret hot-spots where you can shoot 80% from 3-point land (hint, bottom right side of the screen).

When the player would go for a dunk, the game would initiate a cut scene.  The cut scene looked like the pixelated piece of beautiful art you see in the picture below.  Anytime this happened, I would think to myself I can’t wait til basketball games look this good!

Maybe I wasn’t thinking ambitiously enough for a 7-year old.  Because what the boys over at Visual Concepts are coming out with in their 10th Anniversary NBA 2K10 game would have blown my child mind up.

For the 10th installment, it’s worth mentioning that you can get a mini-locker room to store your games and a Kobe Bryant figurine.  Of course, because this will end up costing you much more money, I’m opting to buy the game only on the PS3 (it will be out for Xbox 360 as well). Call me a basketball purist.

The gameplay in this video down is classic Kobe Bryant.  First, he waves the triangle off to isolate a defender.  And before you can even complain that the offense just got stagnant, he pulls off an insane spin (still the best footwork in the league) to give you two points in jaw-dropping fashion.

I can’t wait to lock down opposing teams with Artest, Kobe, and Gasol.  Yes, after the work Gasol did all playoffs, especially guarding Dwight Howard, I’m using him and “lock down” in the same sentence.  Bring it online, Cavs, Celtics, and Spurs fans!  I’ll be waiting on the Playstation Network.  And if one of us gets called for double dribble, I won’t forget the greatness of the L.A. Breakers.

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Summer as a Laker Fan

The dog days of summer.  The only good new basketball you’ve seen is that one 6′2 guy from the YMCA that’s dunking on people and nailing 20-footers.

You wonder why he’s not in the NBA - until you go back and see footage of  mere bench players like the Lakers’ Shannon Brown or the Blazers’ Jerryd Bayless and realize how good the NBA has become.

You start to fester.  There hasn’t been a Laker game in months.  You’ve gone from the heart pounding emotions of championship games to wondering what Derek Fisher does in the summer to stay in such good shape.

You start looking for things to take your breath away again.  The same way your lungs couldn’t breathe when you saw the replay of Kobe hanging, hanging, waiting for Dwight Howard to come down, and throwing in the prettiest shot of the Finals since MJ switched hands 18 years ago.

The movies will be able to give you those moments.  In American film we trust.  And that is why you decide to watch Adam Sandler’s new movie, Funny People.  You’re left feeling lucky.  Lucky to be alive and healthy.  You’re left with an appreciation of how difficult it is to become the best in anything, especially a comedian.

Then the news starts filtering through sporadically.  The Lakers cut Sun Yue from the team.  A 6′9 guard with ball-handling skills, he was supposed to be our Chinese Magic Johnson.  He looked more like our Chinese Sasha Vujacic on a bad shooting night.

On the court his shots were rushed and off, and he was too passive with the ball.  Still, I would have loved to give the kid another year.  But when the Lakers are already committed to a $91 million dollar payroll for next season, there is no money left for projects.

News comes in from overseas that Pau Gasol damaged a ligament in his left index finger and had surgery.  He’s now sidelined for 3 weeks.  The debate of letting players play for their country and the detrimental consequences to their NBA team reignites in your head.

In the end, everyone, including U.S. players, should be allowed to represent their country.  You try to calm the NBA-only raging fan in your brain.

You open up a calendar.  Oh no, it’s still only August.  You head outside with your basketball.  You don’t care that it’s 92 degrees on a dry Los Angeles afternoon.  You start shooting around and dreaming that Staples Center cheers your name, 20,000 strong.  Summer can sometimes be bittersweet.

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The Puzzle Is Complete: Lamar Signs With Lakers

Picture this: Western Conference Finals.  The 67-win Lakers is facing the 64-win San Antonio Spurs.

The East is sporting the Orlando Magic against the Boston Senior Citizens.  The consensus around the league is that the championship rests on whoever wins the West.

The Spurs and Lakers are exchanging baskets.  Artest checks Jefferson.  Kobe schools Ginobli, followed by Tony Parker schooling our entire point guard rotation.  Bynum is pounding Antonio McDyess down low, McDyess returns the favor with his 17-foot squishers.

Gasol and Duncan are playing to a draw.  Everyone is exhausted.  Time to call up the bench for some key minutes.

Lamar Odom stands up to check in, looking at Greg Popovich’s coaching staff visibly sulk.  The Spurs? They respond with: Matt Bonner or a 63 year old (OK, 36) Theo Ratliff.

Is the Lakers nation joyous that Odom signed to a 4-year deal (surely worth in the $30 something million range)?  Yes they are.  And examples (like the Spurs story) of the potential dominance of even the best teams of the NBA is why.

I myself am trying very hard not to say I told you Odom would not only sign, but get none of his added years demands (Explodes.  Ah!  I can’t help it!  I told you so!).

The Lakers will be so good if healthy, they should start experimenting in training camp.  Is Odom’s three-point skills really as improved as the word on the street suggests?  If so, why not have your starting lineup be:

Odom at point guard, Kobe at guard, Artest at small forward, Gasol at power forward, and Bynum at center?  Tell me, who is Tony Parker or Rajon Rondo guarding in this scenario?  Yeah, they might blow by Odom, but they already blow by the rest of the league, might as well make them pay on the other end.

What about Ron Artest at power forward?  Jordan Farmar and Shannon Brown off the bench at the same time to turn the Lakers from long and strong bunch to a 7 seconds or less team? The possibilities are endless.

Perhaps the brightest thing about the Lakers signing Lamar Odom are the precious moments.  How cool is our locker room going to be?  Ron Artest will be there, saying crazy things, hanging out with his childhood friend Odom, who’ll be agreeing like he knows what Ron is talking about.

On the other end, Kobe Bryant’s icy stare will tell you he’s mad and wondering why they only beat the Knicks by 17 points that night.  Pau Gasol will obviously still have the Spanish news networks draped over him, as Sun Yue might even have China listening in.

Somewhere in all this, Sasha Vujacic will be sporting the headband of the day, and people will actually be paying attention to this at Headband Watch.  You think I’m kidding, don’t you?  Check the link:  http://www.vujacic.net/headband-watch/

Yeah, it’s going to be a great season.

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Odom Still a Free Agent? Laughable

Lamar Odom somehow said no a 3-year, $30 million dollar contract and a 4-year, $36 million dollar contract offered by the world champion Los Angeles Lakers.

Latrell Sprewell would have been proud.  It must be getting really difficult to feed families these days.

Odom loves L.A.  He just won a championship.  And it’s the most money he would make from any team.

You Know Who Deserves a $50 Million Dollar Contract at 30, Lamar? A Finals MVP.

Jeff Schwartz is a smart, successful man, representing the likes of Paul Pierce, Shawn Marion, and ours truly, Lamar Odom.

But the sports agent must have misplaced his dictionary over the summer.  So I’ll help him out with the definition of a few key words:

Negotiation - to arrange for or bring about through conference, discussion, and compromise.

Advantage - superiority of position or condition

Odom’s camp neither compromised or had any advantage here.  Yet, in classic agent auto-pilot mode, Schwartz tried to get more than reasonable for his client.

Lamar Odom has never been an All-Star, and is being offered $9-$10 million a year by the best team in basketball.  Anyone who follows the league knows this deal is a bit overpaying by the Lakers.

But instead of taking the deal, Odom was talked into waiting it out for a more ridiculous deal of 5 years, $50 million dollars.

If you can say one thing about Lakers owner Jerry Buss, is that he’s old school.  The man who values loyalty and fairness was justifyibly livid about the Odom camp trying to take advantage of the Lakers, and pulled his offers off the table.

Even Pat Riley Knows What Lamar is Worth, Which is Less Than What the Lakers are Offering Him.

Then, Miami got interested.  They’re offering Odom with the 5 year contract he wanted for…drumroll please…$35 million dollars.   $7 mil a year instead of the $9 or $10 mil the Lakers were offering.  He’d have to work an extra year to make $1 million dollars less.

Poetic justice has never been swifter in the free agency market of the NBA.  Odom’s bluff has been called, and he’s only holding a pair.

Now there have been reports that Odom has called Buss to recall negotiations.  Hopefully, this means we can say welcome back, Lamar.

But let this serve as yet another swift reminder that the Lakers are bigger than any one player.  Bigger than Shaq, bigger than Kobe, bigger than the Logo, Jerry West himself.  Certainly bigger than a candy-eating, unlimited skills, Bynum-insurance, big man.

If I were Buss, I’d cut the deal to $8 mil a year and some Pop Rocks to drive the message home.  The Lakers are the biggest thing in basketball.  Shape up or ship out.

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Ron Artest is a Laker, Trevor Ariza is a Rocket

Let’s get one thing out of the way: There is no way Ron Artest is all there-mentally.  In the head.  Forget the calculated antics of Dennis Rodman: Ron Artest is the real deal, “Mike Tyson of basketball” insane.

Here is Ron Artest pacing in place, calling Brandon Roy the best player he’s ever played against, outside of a guy from his hood in Queens who went to jail when he was 16 or 15 years old.  What?

Seriously, Ron Artest could start talking about how guarding lollipops and rainbows helped his defensive skills in a post game conference, and I won’t even raise an eye.

One question immediately comes to mind after the Lakers just signed Artest to a 3-year, $18 million dollar deal:

Is he a better player than Trevor Ariza?  A resounding yes.  Ron Artest can get his own shots.  Ron Artest plays mad defense.

Ron Artest Might Be Too Much Crazy For Even Kobe to Handle. L.A. Needs You, Phil.

Who fits the team better?  And therein lies the rub - the Lakers got better individually, but I hope the black hole that is Artest holding the ball for 14 seconds of the shot clock is fixed by a certain Zen Master.

I have the confidence Artest will give it up to an unselfish Gasol in the post, or the sometimes screaming for the ball Kobe Bryant.  At age 29, you hope he’s matured enough to just want to win a championship.

So why did the Lakers not just sign Trevor Ariza to the mid-level exception?  He’d apparantly take it, considering he just signed the midlevel with Houston for 5 years.

The answer is deeper than that 2 extra years.  I think the Lakers front office finally got fed up with role players having a good season and locking up substantial contracts only to disappear.

How Do I Prepare For the Coming of Artest? Probably by Grabbing His Album. You Know, Because I’m Street Like That.

Remember Luke Walton?  Wow, the Lakers got to the first round of the playoffs with him as our small forward, we’ve got to sign him!  Boom, a waste of $30 million dollars over 6 years.

What about Sasha Vujacic shooting well an entire season?  A shooting specialist that shoots well for only one year!  Amazing!  Boom, $15 million dollars over 3 years.

So when Trevor Ariza played good defense and made his outside shots with out-of-his-mind percentages, the Lakers said no to the pattern of role player greatness flash.

The Lakers went with something solid, that’s delievered defense, offense, and a lot of crazy, year after year.

I think I’m in opposite land because of what I’m about to type.  In this crazy world, Ron Artest was the sure thing.

That, or he and Odom can go around being the original candy-eating crew from Queens, New York, driving Kobe nuts, but entertaining the rest of Los Angeles.  I can’t wait for either outcome.

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Spurs Steal Jefferson, Shaq Joins LeBron, Vince Is A Magic - And Yeah, The NBA Draft

Sure, everyone wants to know how the #1 pick of the 2009 NBA draft Blake Griffin will do playing for Frankie Muniz’s…er…Donald Sterling’s Clippers.

I have one advice for the Clippers: Get rid of Zach Randolph.  Don’t let him near Blake.  I’m warning you now.

Zach Randolph is a Lot of Things. A Good Role Model is Not One of Them.

I honestly can’t believe Ricky Rubio drops to #5 in the draft.  How Sacramento goes with a combo guard in Tyreke Evans when they already have Kevin Martin is beyond me.

Sacramento could have had the most dynamic young backcourt in the NBA with Rubio and Martin.  They blew it.

The Wolves Go European With Their Point Guard Choice

But one team’s loss is another team’s gain.  The Minnesota Timberwolves pick up Ricky Rubio with the #5 pick.  Rubio, Al Jefferson, and Kevin Love are a good young core to build a franchise around, both on and off the court.

Minnesota picks again at #6!

Holy crap, the Timberwolves just picked up another point guard with their 6th pick.  It’s stud athlete and leader Jonny Flynn.  You know how good Duane Martin in the movie Above the Rim was supposed to be?  That’s how good Jonny Flynn was in Syracuse.  But I’m confused.

And Now the Wolves Go American With Their Point Guard Choice.

Either Rubio or Flynn are getting traded, or the Wolves’ front office picks players like I do when I’m playing NBA Jam: Tournament Edition and decide to go with Nick Van Exel and Anthony Peeler in a two on two game against teams that feature players like Stockton and Malone.  It doesn’t work.

Stephen Curry is a 6-3 guard that played Reggie Miller in college, going around numerous screens for just a little bit of daylight to knock down a three-ball.  The basketball gods have rightfully chosen that he be drafted by the Golden State Warriors at #7.

If Stephen Curry and Monta Ellis Are On the Same Team, It's Time to Buy Warriors' Season Tickets.

Although there are talks of trading Curry since the supposed Warriors’ franchise player Monta Ellis is also 6′3, only Don Nelson is crazy-genius enough to play them both at the guard spots and run the entire NBA off the court.  Do it Don, do it!

Despite all the draft talk, the biggest steal of the summer so far has been the Spurs trading for Richard Jefferson.  Yes, that Richard Jefferson.

I Can't Believe How Little The Spurs Gave Up to Get Jefferson.

I still remember Gregg Popovich’s initial remarks when the Lakers traded Kwame Brown’s expiring contract, the promising young guard in Javaris Crittenton, and a first round draft pick (which ended up being the solid Marc Gasol) for Pau Gasol.

His exact words:

“What they did in Memphis is beyond comprehension,” said Popovich. “There should be a trade committee that can scratch all trades that make no sense. I just wish I had been on a trade committee that oversees NBA trades. I’d like to elect myself to that committee. I would have voted no to the L.A. trade.”

Gregg Popovich After The Lakers Trade For Pau Gasol.

Well, prepare to scratch yourself, Gregg.  Because the pure gift the Milwaukee Bucks handed to you in star forward Richard Jefferson for absolutely nothing but the expiring contracts of senior citizens Kurt Thomas and Bruce Bowen and fill-in hustle forward Fabricio Oberto can only be explained by:

A) The Milwakee Bucks’ front office is incompetent if they can’t get at least 1 draft pick or promising young player to go along with expiring contracts for Richard freaking Jefferson.  You don’t build for the future by just acquiring boatloads of cash.  Just ask the Clippers how well that strategy works.

B) This was a buddy-buddy deal, ala Wolves’ General Manager Kevin McHale giving up Kevin Garnett to the Celtics in a “go win a championship for me” fashion.  KG doesn’t get you a lottery pick or All-Star in return?  What? Was McHale really that high on Al Jefferson?

Gregg Popovich After Spurs Trade For Richard Jefferson.

Since Minnesota has finally gotten the clue (a decade too late) that McHale has driven their franchise into the ground, they enacted Charter 7 of the Isiah Thomas Guidebook-the Wolves stripped McHale of his general manager title, made him coach the team he built for a year as a form of punishment, and fired him, severing all ties.

C) Gregg Popovich actually formed a trade committee and was appointed president.  In his first order of business, he thought to himself “Hm…what do the Spurs need more than anything?” Oh yeah, a star small forward to compliment point guard Tony Parker, guard Manu Ginobili, and power forward Tim Duncan.  I now motion and pass that I take Jefferson for expiring contracts.  Meeting adjourned.”

This is Richard Jefferson on a fast break dunk for the Bucks.  Just imagine if the other 3 players around him are Parker, Ginobili, and Duncan.  Not fair.

If the Spurs remain healthy, they will be the team with the best chance of knocking out the defending champion Lakers out of the playoffs.  You can’t mess with the fact that the Spurs have 4 legitimate All-Star talents.  Scary, scary stuff.  Thanks a lot, Milwaukee.

Vince Carter in Orlando is only big if the Magic also sign Hedo Turkoglu.  If Hedo ends up taking a bigger contract to go to, say Detroit, the Magic are a wash from last year since they bring back the same team minus Courtney Lee and Hedo Turkoglu, but adding Vince Carter.

If the Magic sign Turkoglu as well, they turn into yet another new four-headed monster the Lakers will have to deal with.

The Magic Pick Up Vince Carter, But the Question Is Exactly How Much Are They Going to Lose?

Shaq being traded for the expiring contracts of Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavlovic means the Cavs finally have someone to guard Dwight Howard in the playoffs.  Or do they?  Have you seen Shaq guard a pick-and-roll lately?  There will be many, many open three-pointers for Orlando.

Shaq changed the identity of the Suns from a run-and-gun team to a confused team that didn’t make the playoffs.  Now, the identity of the Cavs, which is to let LeBron James score and play great defense on the other end will be undermined.

If it becomes easier to score on the Cavs with pick-and-rolls and easier to defend them with hack-a-Shaq strategy, do you keep him on the floor?

The All-NBA Thick Team. Does Anyone Else Notice That LeBron Is Just As Thick As Shaq, Except All Muscle? That is ReDunkulous.

Putting your money on a by-then 38-year old Shaq as the difference maker for your team from last year is desperate and improbable to work, but if all it costs you is the player formerly known as Ben Wallace and Sasha Pavolvic, I would make the trade too if I was Danny Ferry.

So every legitimate contender is coming back stronger.  The Celtics get Kevin Garnett back (hopefully 100% healthy, but probably with half a step lost since he had knee surgery on his 33-year old body) .

KG, Please Get Better So I Can See Some Of Those Insanely Passionate Looks You Make in the Playoffs. Thanks.

The Magic get Vince Carter to join Dwight Howard, Rashard Lewis, and potentially Hedo Turkoglu.

The Cavs get Shaq for expiring contracts.

The Spurs get Richard Jefferson.

The Lakers?  We’re just hoping to get our same team back by signing Trevor Ariza and Lamar Odom.

The Contenders Are Once Again Chasing the Greatness Of Kobe and the Lakers.

I guess champions have the luxury of not changing until someone knocks them off the throne.  But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous about the new and improved contenders.  I already can’t wait for next season.

I’m going to go play some more NBA Jam to tide me over.

Scottie Pippen's On Fire! This Game Rules!

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Sasha Vujacic on Sports Science & Waiting on the Draft

An interesting Sports Science episode, where Sasha Vujacic was brought in to look at his free-throw percentage in the face of visual distraction.

After that, the Sports Science team molds Sasha giant hands and gives him stilts to make him 7′1.  He’s FrankenShaq! The scary part is, they blindfold Sasha as well, and he still makes 8 of 10 free throws with his giant hands and stilts.

Sports Science basically debunks the myth that Shaq’s big hands combined with his height makes him miss free-throws.  But did we really wonder about this?  The pictures of Shaq’s free-throw shooting form tells enough of the story.

Shaq has horrible form.  Fix that, and he has the potential to shoot like Vujacic, who’s form looks flawless from the free-throw line, even with his giant molded-on hands.

The problem is that it has always been extremely difficult to change people’s forms.  And with Shaq at 37, it’s too late to do anything like that.

If Sasha Shot Free-Throws That Looked Like This, He Too, Would Miss.

By the way guys, Shaq is 37 and Sasha Vujacic is not an “NBA Star”.  What’s next for Sports Science, evaluating why Scottie Pippen shot only 32.7% of his three-pointers over his career using “NBA Star” Daniel “Boobie” Gibson?

Speaking of Shaq, there’s been no word yet on his possible trade to the Cleveland Cavaliers.  With rumors also spreading that Yao Ming might be going to the Cavs (What?! How can Cleveland make that work?!), at this point, I’m hoping Shaq is the one that becomes LeBron’s teammate instead of Yao.  Because LeBron and Yao would be absolutely killer.

Yao And LeBron Together? Downright Scary.

Considering the Rockets lost to the Lakers mainly due to a lack of big guys, I don’t see Yao moving unless the Cavs trade LeBron himself, which isn’t happening (no matter how many times the Rockets’ front office tells the Cavs “C’mon, we’ll give you Yao and T-Mac!)

The Laker nation is still waiting to see if Trevor Ariza and Lamar Odom are going to be signed.  If they both get market value, the Lakers will be ridiculously above the salary cap.  It will be interesting to see if Jerry Buss is that serious about giving the Lakers the best chance at back to back championships.

In This Play, Ricky Rubio Blew By Jason Kidd and Kept the Rest of the Redeem Team Flat-Footed With the Threat of a Pass to Score a Layup. Skills.

June 25th is the NBA draft.  The Lakers have the 29th pick, and might pick a foreign player that is a year away to save themselves from signing a contract this year.  I’m most looking forward to see where Ricky Rubio of Spain lands in the draft and how much the Lakers’ 6′9 guard Sun Yue will improve over the summer.

Ricky Rubio’s a 6′3, pure point guard, and he reminds me of “Pistol”Pete Maravich.  I can’t wait to see the 18 year old Spaniard play in the NBA.

For the Lakers, Sun Yue is my sleeper hit of the summer, barring a Coby Karl comeback.  Man, did Coby tear it up in last year’s summer league.  I remember these things so you don’t have to.