The Lakerhead

Sasha Vujacic Is Slowly Taking Over the World

It all started on an innocent Saturday.  I glance over at my sister’s laptop, and see that she’s on her Facebook.  Except something is not quite right.

I notice it right away.  One of her listed friends is Sasha Vujacic, innocent college-boy style picture and everything.

I point out Sasha on the screen to my sis.

“No way”, I say.

“Way”, she responds.

Some may brush off the fact that Sasha Vujacic has a Facebook account to mere marketing by his deft publicity team.  I, on the other hand, know the truth:  Sasha Vujacic is slowly taking over the world.

Here is the Facebook welcome video.  We see an innocent video of an upper-class, but somehow modest looking home to make you forget the strange, hypnotic comment he makes about “keeping in touch”.  Well played, Sasha, well played.

It gets stranger.  Everyone knows Myspace is riddled with fake pages made by fans who like to pretend they are the stars.  Well, Sasha Vujacic is no different.  Oh wait, except it seems like he takes his imitators out and makes a super Sasha Vujacic Myspace page.  Here is the video of him talking about him “taking care of business” (I pray for those that were daring enough to mess with Sasha and make fake Myspace pages).

It was a lot of debate about it, you say, Sasha?  What kind of debate and what basement was it held in?  Were only words used?  Do you know scary you sound when you say “I’m telling you now…” even though you are trying to sound nice?  That’s also an intimidating salute you got there, buddy.  Trying to fool us with kindness?  It won’t work.

I continued my investigation of Sasha Vujacic and saw that he has just launched his own official website, Sashavujacic18.com for his fans.  I can’t believe my eyes.  Isn’t Facebook and Myspace enough media outlets to connect with his fans?  What is this man planning for?  Oh no, he even has an intro video to his site!  There’s that wave again, look away!

Did you know Sasha is currently reading The Way Things Work by David Macaulay?  I know this because his official website tells me this.  This book covers how things like airplanes and fire extinguishers work.  How convenient, Sasha.  You’re rubbing your master plan in our face disguised as innocent reading.  I’m onto you, “The Machine”.  And I’ll be ready when you unleash your fury.

As for now, I think I’m going to go download one of those cool fan wallpapers you got up on your site.  Check out the variety!