The Lakerhead

NBA Finals = Fun Times

Hey, I remember you.  You’re the Larry O’Brien trophy, right?  Wow, you have the same name as the former NBA commish, weird.  I know we had some rough times.  Remember when I actually thought Sam Perkins’ game winning three-pointer in Game 1 of the 1991 NBA Finals actually meant the Lakers would win it all against Michael Jordan’s Bulls?  I was quite upset when Jordan decided to drill us 4 straight games after that with his whirling, switchy-hands layups (for the record, switchy-hands is a word because I said so).

Stop Doing the Switchy Hands Thingy! Not Fair!

Don’t think I forgot about last year, either, Larry.  Oh, I’ll admit, I was broken when Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins absolutely punked the skinny front line of Gasol and Odom.  The Celtics took us in 6 games, and I flashed back to Red Auerbach, still standing by the bench, smoking his cigar and laughing at the Lakers’ futile attempts to stop his Celtics’ dynasty.

We had more good times than bad, though, right?  Remember how awesome that three-peat felt?  I won’t lie: the best part of that 3-peat was probably Mark Madsen attempting to dance in the victory parade in Los Angeles.

We Aren't the Best Dancers, But We Love You.

What about the five championships the Lakers spoiled me with in the 80s? Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Coop, and GQ Pat Riley as our coach?  Good times.  I admit, I was young, spoiled, and took you for granted.

So I realize the Magic have a pretty big force down low called Superman, Larry.  And I know they use this to spread the floor, and Rashard Lewis, Turkoglu, Alston, Lee, and Pietrus can all knock down 3-pointers.

Despite all this, I feel like we belong together this year, Larry.  The Lakers have learned a lesson or two on toughness, both physical and mental.  Kobe has been foaming at the mouth for 6 years.  You should see him, Larry.  He doesn’t look so good without you.

All Kobe Can Think About Is You...Don't Let Him Down.

I’ll make you a deal: If the Lakers challenge those 3-point shots, if Kobe Bryant is still much more unstoppable than Dwight Howard, and if Gasol gives us the post presence the Cavaliers lacked, you owe me a trip to that parade in Los Angeles.

Can’t You See You Belong in L.A.?

PS — I’m still mad at you for not allowing us to be together last year.  I really, really, really, wanted to see how insane Ronny Turiaf’s dance would be at the parade.  But I’ll forgive you- just please come back, Larry.